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Focus on the exceptions I always ask couples, "What's different about the times the two of you are getting along better. If not, you need to find some other hook that will inspire him to change. For example, if your husband handles every aspect of finances in your family, chances are that you rarely think about money. The wait really boosted Bill's enthusiasm for sex.

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What was supposed to be a heart-to-heart ended up as an argument. Annie was tempted to respond in kind but held back. Here's something you need to know. The truth is, your husband isn't as unusual as you think. They have to mull it over for a while and get used to the idea that they are going to do something different. Focus on the exceptions I always ask couples, "What's different about the times the two of you are getting along better.

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After learning about the seesaw effect, Annie decided to try something new. Without telling Jeff, she got her kids invited for sleepovers at friends' houses. When he came home, she seduced him with lingerie and a sexy video. He needs to believe that you are on his side, no matter how challenging that might be. As she predicted, two days passed. When, out of the blue, something entirely different occurs, it gets our attention. There are no one-size-fits-all universal methods for boosting sexual desire.

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Description: Listen and acknowledge what you hear him say. As you try again and again, you may think you're trying something new — bringing up the topic at a different time of day, for example, or finding a new way into it, with humor or pleading. In fact, he seemed rather annoyed. A simple change in Brenda's behavior changed the pattern that had kept them apart. Would your husband rather watch the game, go out with his friends, or surf the Internet than be intimate with you. Perhaps he was even receptive to your discussion at first. The problem was, Annie felt that he was initiating sex only out of a sense of obligation — and that when they did make love, his heart really wasn't in it. But even if he refuses to get help, there's a lot you can do to change the "I'm hot, he's not" dynamic in your relationship. When those efforts are met with rejection, all of a sudden sex becomes the center of the universe for the sex-starved partner.
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